Who am I and what am I doing?

Updated: Jan 16, 2020

I'm starting this to practice getting the thoughts out of my head and into typed words. I've always been a daydreamer and I am constantly thinking about myself in different scenarios. That started in elementary school and only grew worse once I discovered fully immersing myself into books. When I finish reading a book I'm often plagued in thinking what I would do differently or I would dream of the story I read. As I've grown my thoughts have turned into what I would like to do or see in a book and decided I wanted to write one. Not to make money but to make, what I think, is a good book.

I didn't start reading as a hobby until I was twenty. I had barely been dating Amy, my now wife, and when I mentioned that I hated reading she challenged me to read a specific book. She handed it to me, it was so big. Probably like a foot long and 6 plus inches thick. I remember looking at her like she was crazy, but my competitive nature kicked in and I agreed. I remember we were laying in her bed and she said she was going to make me a reader and she thought this book would do it. It was the Deed of Paksenarrion by Elizabeth Moon. A trilogy. She dared me to read not one but the three books contained beneath the cover. I can't tell you the date I flipped to the the first page but I can tell you it took me about a year to finish the first book in the series: The Sheepfarmers Daughter. I don't know how many pages are in the first book but I fought it tooth and nail.

I don't consider myself super educated. I graduated high school and stopped there. My family never pushed reading. My parents were both 18 when they had me. I was the first of three girls. They were divorced by the time I was 11 and they worked all of the time. My child hood was spent in school, then in front of my grandmothers TV watching soaps. I don't even think I owned a book. I skimmed through all of the school required reading and in fact up until I started that book, I had only ever read one book that wasn't required by school. That book was also recommended by a girl I liked ;) but it wasn't the kind of book that made me want to pick up another.

I spent so much time pushing myself to finish the Sheepfarmers Daughter. I would start and stop, get board, not recognize a meaning of a word, get lost. It was my own personal hell at times but never less I persisted. I finished the first book and zoomed through the second and third. The first book and I unlocked a door inside my head that can never be closed again. I love reading. I am a reader. I never knew what I was missing out on and will forever be grateful for Amy pushing me into it. She probably regrets that now though. I may have a problem. Since I have finished the Deed of Paks, I have read more books then I can count.

So why do I want to write? I have started getting thoughts in my head about a story and it would eat at my brain until I finally wrote it down. Once I wrote it on paper I was fine. This happened for the first time maybe five years ago. Once I wrote it down I was fine and moved on. Then last year a friend of mine recommend a series on Netflix called Lost Girl. After I finished all five seasons I was left craving lesbian paranormal romance. I connected with the characters since they were like me. I even developed a celebrity crush on Zoie Palmer. I would search Netflix for more lesbian romance but would always come up short or disappointed. Then I decided to start looking for books. I found some good books and some not so good but in every lesbian romance book I've read there's always one common issue I have. It's too short. So I thought I would write the kind of book that I want to read but really have no idea how to go about it. I started but can't decide what style of writing I like or how to really start. I keep reading different books to find a style and decided to try some creative writing, start this blog, and maybe get some feedback. I'd like to maybe review some books I've read and also talk about day to day life in general.

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